God, as Kevorkian, finally shows some mercy. Well, they're already covered in lice, and frogs, and bugs - they wanna die. Plague #5: A severe pestilence strikes the livestock.Yuck again - yeah God, get the insects to fight your fucking battles for you. Plague #4: A cloud of insects attack the people.Normal for that period, so - not that big a deal. Plague #3: Lice cover every man and beast.Yuck, I've been to Egypt - this isn't good for the frogs either. Maybe the fish were gloating, and God hates gloaters. See? So the fish that got a free pass in Noah's story get fucked in the blood water. Plague #1: All waters in Egypt turn to blood.Pharaoh says "No!" So God releases a set of ten plagues upon Egypt. Pharaoh says "No!" Now, why wouldn't just God appear to pharaoh and say it himself? Because God works in mysterious, inefficient, and breathtakingly cruel ways. So Moses - we have no evidence of Moses outside of the damn Bible either, none - comes to pharaoh and says "Let my people go!" No note from God, nothing. Floods we find, but enslaved Jews in Egypt? Nowhere outside of the damn Bible. I don't wanna sound like Mel Gibson's dad here, but we can't find any evidence for that. Thousands of Jews are supposedly enslaved by the Egyptian pharaoh. Penn & Teller's take (as spoken by Penn in an episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit!) on the plagues and the allegedly literal nature of the story is as follows See the main article on this topic: G'Tach
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